INFJ Female, INTJ Male - Advice needed | INFJ Forum
You both improve each other– INFJ will learn to think things through without their feelings getting out of control, and INTJ will become more in. Here are some tips to help the socially-challenged INTJ navigate the turbulent INTJs notoriously approach dating the way they approach most . to you after reading your comment because I am and INFJ that has recently. Even when an INTJ finds that special person, they can still be an enigma. An INFJ recently told me, “When I've had a day to myself, I feel.
So grit your teeth and whisper those sweet nothings if you want your partner to know that you care. Actions speak louder than words The old adage, "show, don't tell," is crucial to nailing romance. You might think that chivalry is demeaning, but your date or partner requires action that comes from the heart. You don't have to drape your cloak over a puddle, but a little hand-holding, cheek kissing or breakfast in bed can make all the difference. Some people actually celebrate Valentine's Day INTJs are the least likely of all the personality types to remember sentimental events such as birthdays and holidays because we don't see the point of these traditions.
As we are repeatedly shot down, we come to recognize that celebrations are, in fact, relevant to the rest of the world. So for goodness sake, remember your anniversary. And book a table on Valentine's Day. Game plans only work when you're playing chess INTJs notoriously approach dating the way they approach most situations - with a game plan. Rather than falling head over heels for the nearest warm body, we construct a well-defined image of our ideal partner, break the dating process down into a series of actionable milestones, then proceed to execute the plan with laser-sharp focus.
Strategy in place, we're ready to woo. Shockingly, other people may not fall in line with this system. Partners and dates want to know they are attractive, respected and loved for who they are without all the wrangling, controlling and mind games. Painful as it is, you've got to play with the other person, not manipulate them like pawns on a chessboard.
A date is not an interview INTJs famously require a mate of the mind - someone clever, preferably genius, and independent enough to stand up to the INTJ's formidable intellect. Most INTJs will figure out very quickly whether someone makes the grade.
If not, the INTJ will waste no time on further courtship. We are through with the interloper. We will not look back. To make a fair assessment, an INTJ typically will bombard their date with the "big" questions. And by big, I mean the sort of complex, probing, no-stone-left-unturned questions you get asked at an interview.
We think we are nailing down our date's personality and suitability this way. In fact, we're killing the buzz 90 percent of the time.
INFJ Female, INTJ Male - Advice needed
Ask your date what kind of music they like movies, books, food. Everyone has an opinion on these subjects. Your date won't feel stressed talking about their favorite meal. If your date is a poor conversationalist or displays terribly bad taste, cut your losses. But if the conversation naturally veers off at a tangent and throws up all sorts of delicious morsels, then you've probably struck gold.
And you didn't even ask your date about their life goals. Sometimes, you've just got to go for it INTJ's score high on the Judging scale, which means they like to have things decided.
Misadventures with INTJs - Pros and cons of an INFJ dating an INTJ?
However, this only occurs when we've made up our minds. Until then, we are flexible and open to new information. This is a problem, because we have a tendency to spend a ridiculous amount of time studying the ins and outs of relationships - knotty issues like our feelings, whether the flames of passion are burning, and the significance of it all. Intimacy can burn rather slowly until we've sorted everything out.
By then, the object of our affection will have lost interest. So hurry it up already. In a cautious world, seizing the moment is undeniably romantic and sexy. No one likes haughty If you want to destroy romance, be sure to think of yourself as smarter, more intuitive, more conscientious, more rational and more important than your date.
Cross examine them and challenge their assumptions. Always strive to be right, even if it crushes your significant other. Yes, all the time. But I didn't contact him, didn't answer his calls, removed anything from his place that was mine and vice versa.
I felt that doing all of that would make it easier for both of us to move forward. I found out later that he had bought a ring and was going to propose to me which made me feel terrible.
But I was also relieved that I ended it before that happened. It would have made things worse. I remember the turning point for me. I was at his home and he had drank a bit too much that night and was getting really emotional.
He kept repeating, 'I know you are going to leave me one day I will kill myself'. First, I was angry. This felt like emotional manipulation and I wanted to leave right then and there.
Second, I didn't like the way he was acting. But it really did get me thinking. If he is acting this way now breaking up wasn't even something we were talking about at that time then how would he act if things didn't work out?
So I sat down and went over the things mentioned in my first paragraph because if it wasn't going to work, then I owed it to him to end it so that he could move on. In the long run, I knew that it was the best decision for both of us even though he didn't see it that way. I'm sure you feel the same way right now. The best thing for you to do would be to cut him off completely no matter how much it hurts.
He obviously didn't consider how much it would hurt him because if he did, he would have planned ahead of time to keep himself as busy as possible. So help him out with moving on.