What I Learned From Dating Older Gay Men
The director of Call Your Father says his attraction to older guys exposed a rarely discussed universal truth about gay men. Still though, there are gay men out there who refuse to date guys younger If it helps a younger person to date an older man because he had a. Flirting with, then asking a younger guy out on a date is no different than But, is flirting with a younger gay guy the same as flirting with.
So for that, I am thankful. I was 21 and vaguely dating a year-old guy I had met through friends. We hooked up for the first time at a huge house party I had that was filled with other early- to mids people.
I lived in a cement basement that, for some reason, I had painted yellow. It truly was a bad-looking room, but we were both drunk, and I was too confident to know how insecure I was.
What's up with older men dating much younger men? : gay
So I was really charming that night. He was into it. But he was handsome, and I knew from friends he was successful — at the time, anything above a yellow basement seemed really appealing.
So we hooked up. It was drunk and fun. And someone walked in on us. I wondered how that must have felt to him.
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It seems so college to have someone walk in while you are hooking up during a party. When I finally saw his house and his life, I could understand how getting caught sucking dick at a party with mostly Tecate being served would be appealing, or at least a change of pace. His life was set the fuck up. His ceilings must have been 30 feet high, and his parties had bartenders. That day was very nice.
He indulged me by following Laura Dern around instead of looking at the gardens, which was definitely not the first time she had been stalked by gay men at a garden party. Afterward, we had wine with some of his straight friends.
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I asked him about his life instead of talking about mine. What were the hardest years? When did he get real? I was seasick, and as this older man and I hit the sheets, I found that my body struggled to deliver what I had ordered.
When everything physical was said and done, we nestled in my bed together where I offered my condolences for my sexual underperformance.
Confidently, he checked the time on his iPhone, which was perched on my nightstand and looked up at me. Which do you want first? And it dawned upon me: These are people whose sex lives pre-date apps like Grindr or Scruff, and they may have even evaded the widespread millennial mentality of quickly finding something defective with a new lover, only to start brainlessly swiping again.
For me, older gay men came to symbolize the one thing more inspiring than heartbreak: These guys had been through the emotional throes of dating, and ultimately, they had been able to fall in love again — even multiple times.
By all means, in Greek culture, this relationship was considered an education. But today, relationships between older gay men and younger gay men are seemingly plagued by peer judgment over presumptive motivations.